Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Confidence

I find myself in a constant state of never feeling like I'm good enough. Always close, but never quite there. In the past this has been debilitating, causing me to either give up early or not try at all, because I have been constantly convinced that no matter what I did it would never be as good as someone else. Sitting in the back I have watched others succeed at things I thought about trying, all the time convincing myself that they deserved it because even if I had tried it would not have been as good as them. I have refused to allow myself the opportunities to succeed because I have lacked confidence in an extreme way.

The past few years a foreign feeling has been creeping up on me. I have suddenly, and without warning, felt good about myself and my accomplishments. I am good at my job, I am a good friend, I can help my family in ways I never could. Self-confidence is one of the strangest feelings in the world for me. Being able to look in the mirror and be happy with myself, going to bed each night feeling accomplished...I'm not used to this. But I'm hoping that this venture will help me get used to this.


More to the list:

Make juice tapioca balls using molecular gastronomy
Watch a sunrise
Watch a sunset
Go to the top of the Space Needle
See the Ocean
Visit Mount Rainier and have a picnic
Go to Woodland Park Zoo
Go to Point Defiance Zoo
Bite of Seattle
Taste of Tacoma

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