Post-Holiday Coma

So I successfully navigated the holidays with minimal grief, can't really complain. I will say I am more motivated than ever for this list. I keep on thinking of things to add that are way out of my abilities (learn to fly? C'mon, brain, I'm not superman) because the more I think of it, the more invincible I feel. I feel like for once in the last few years I have a track to be on, and not just that, but one I really want to be on.

More stuff:

Write a song and record it at the EMP
Find a photobooth and use it
Buy a whole fish and take it apart, then cook and eat it
Stay a weekend in a hotel, somewhere with a view
Bake an apple pie using the family recipe



Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. --John Lennon

More Listing

Visit the Seattle Aquarium (P.F.)
Go to the top of the Space Needle and have a meal
Visit the Pacific Science Center (P.F.)
Build a Birdhouse
Candy Walnuts
Go to Wann (P.F. www.wann-izakaya.com/)

Confidence

I find myself in a constant state of never feeling like I'm good enough. Always close, but never quite there. In the past this has been debilitating, causing me to either give up early or not try at all, because I have been constantly convinced that no matter what I did it would never be as good as someone else. Sitting in the back I have watched others succeed at things I thought about trying, all the time convincing myself that they deserved it because even if I had tried it would not have been as good as them. I have refused to allow myself the opportunities to succeed because I have lacked confidence in an extreme way.

The past few years a foreign feeling has been creeping up on me. I have suddenly, and without warning, felt good about myself and my accomplishments. I am good at my job, I am a good friend, I can help my family in ways I never could. Self-confidence is one of the strangest feelings in the world for me. Being able to look in the mirror and be happy with myself, going to bed each night feeling accomplished...I'm not used to this. But I'm hoping that this venture will help me get used to this.


More to the list:

Make juice tapioca balls using molecular gastronomy
Watch a sunrise
Watch a sunset
Go to the top of the Space Needle
See the Ocean
Visit Mount Rainier and have a picnic
Go to Woodland Park Zoo
Go to Point Defiance Zoo
Bite of Seattle
Taste of Tacoma

New Week, New Ideas

A lovely Monday is here, after a weekend of thinking about this adventure. Wondering if I'll actually finish this out or just give up like I have been known to do. Scratch that, I haven't been known to give up. Usually because when I start a new adventure I'm so scared of failing that I don't tell people I'm starting, that way when I eventually do fail it is all my fault and nobody knows.

But this time it is different. I have already started telling a select group of people about this endeavor, and the people I have told so far are people who I know will push me, if not join me. I also plan on opening this up to all my friends, and invite them to share this out as far as they can. I want to be pushed to complete this, I want people to bug me about it, I want to succeed. So many times I am so bull-headed that I refuse to ask for help, I let myself fail because I think failing alone holds more pride than succeeding together. Finally I am understanding how important it is so ask for help, and I'm actually taking joy in telling people about this. Bringing them in, making them a part of this, so I'm not just standing along here. At the end of the year I want to be standing tall, but not standing alone.

Some new things for the list:

Bake at least 12 different cookie recipes
Go camping at least once
Stay at least one night in at least 3 different states

Day 3, Extended Thoughts

I keep thinking about why I am so determined to do this and why this venture is important to me, and a few thoughts are coming to mind.

First, looking back at this last year I feel like I have nothing to show for it. Yes, I bought a new car and survived knee surgery only a bit worse for the wear, but that doesn't feel like anything special. I miss the days of learning and experiencing. Pre-surgery I was a busy person, and I loved it. Post-surgery I slowed down a lot and just haven't picked up the pace again. I'm not happy about that. I feel like I have become someone other than myself since February and it is time to get back to me.

Second, I'm 24 years old. I feel constantly on the verge of becoming an actual adult. I've been looking at houses to buy the past few months and feel like I'm really growing up. I have an adult job and an adult car and adult bills, and I'm just not ready yet. I look at my parents and a part of me is so scared of one day waking up and being like them, spending all of their time working on the homes they have. Not that there is anything wrong with that at all, and I look at them and hope I can be as successful as they are someday, but I'm not ready for that yet. Having adventures is still something I strive to constantly do. Growing up is not an option quite yet.

Day 3, Let's Add to This List

Make and launch a paper lantern
Learn to make a difficult origami piece (suggestion of P.F.)
Go to an opera (Suggestion of P.F.)
Karaoke

Day 2: Let's Start This Thing

Time to start my list of things to be doing over the year.

Carve a pumpkin
Knit a 7 foot scarf, and wear it at least 7 times
Stay the weekend at the ocean
Go to Tillicum Village
Go to a glass fusing class at the Museum of Glass
Make a souffle

Day 1, Thought 1: Where am I Going?

I just finished the movie Julie and Julia, and I am inspired. Inspired, and a bit sad at myself, because I have no idea where I am going right now. I am surrounded by an uninspiring life, and it is all my fault, and I am realizing it is time for me to change it up.

Staring tomorrow, Wednesday, December 13, 2011, I have one month to find things to do/see/learn over the next year. Substantial things, ones I can hold and feel and take photos of. This list can be as long or as short as it ends up being, but I cannot count how many things are on the list until the month is up. Then I have one year to complete that list, documenting my way to the finish line.

I have to do something to pop me out of this. And who knows, maybe other people out there will join me. But for now, for this begining, this is just for me.

Time to start experiencing, time to start starting,

-Jet-